4 years

On this very day 4 years ago, in the quaint little town of Annapolis, MD, I would never have imagined that my life would change. But change it did, in ways I could never have fathomed.... you chose to sacrifice your life so that mine could be spared... I was so angry, how dare you make that decision, we were supposed to be together forever, it would have been less painful if it were both of us, we could be young, in love and together forever.

I never really understood why... no matter how hard I tried or how ferverntly I prayed for the answers, it never came to me, none of it made sense... if you looked at it from a practical viewpoint, he had more use to this world as a doctor than I, as a CPA, aside from that, he was just a better person... more patient, more kind, more loving, just more of everything than I was... after a long while of searching, I finally stopped. I figured if I were to ever find the answer, it will make itself clear.

As I look into Eli's eyes, I've found it.

Thank you doesn't seem like it's ever enough but that's all you've ever wanted no matter how big or small the gift. I hope you are enjoying life at a better place and helping watch over this little boy whom you've given a chance at life.

Always grateful, always loved, never forgotten.

Rest in peace dear one.

Week 8

This week was another big week for Eli, we went to his 2 month wellness visit and shots today. I did not realise that 2 month olds go in for THREE shots at one go. I had already been apprehensive with my little one going in to be pricked at as much as I hate needles myself so imagine how much further my heart sunk when the doctor told us that it'll be 3 shots and one oral dose :(

Eli woke up in a good mood and was smiling, cooing and just being cheeky at the doctor and that broke my heart even further knowing what was in store for him... do all you other Mommies feel that guilt as well? I am the same way when I take the dog to the vet... I just feel as the parent, we're there to protect them from the unpleasant stuff especially since they can't fend for themselves... at the end of the day, I know it is for their own good and they will forget the pain.


At 8 weeks and 6 days, Eli almost weighs 11 lbs (25th percentile), measures 22 inches (25th percentile) and head circumfrence 40.5 cm (50th percentile). So he's on the smallish side but apparently these aren't indicators of his future growth so we'll see if he'll be 5'5" like Mommy or 5'11" like Daddy... maybe he'll astound us and be 6ft tall :)


Getting naked to be weighed in... see how happy he is??? I swear, that child loves to be in the buff!


Waiting for the doctor... not really knowing what's in store for him.


There's the smile!


Being cheeky with Mommy. This is his new habit, he loves sticking his tongue out and instead of sucking his fingers, he pokes out that cute tongue and licks his fists. It is so cute... I was carrying him outside on the porch one evening facing outwards and suddenly I felt this little tickle on my hand and there he was licking away... my little lizard boy :)


Dr Neil giving Eli a thorough look over. He was impressed with his muscle tone and control of his head. Eli can lay on his tummy and lift his head, he recognises voices, is fascinated by lights, alert, coos/smiles/interacts and is able to fixate his eyes on objects. So overall an A+ report card! Oh, the doc was impressed with Eli's potty training and found that fascinating.


With Shot #1, he didn't cry but he stopped cooing and you could see him registering what just happened... this pic is of Shot #2 when he just started bawling... it was heart breaking, he stopped crying only to be administered Shot #3. Good thing Grandma was there to hold him... I could barely watch :(


All done and not very happy. He kept recalling the shots and would cry in little spurts all the way home. We put a hot compress on the shots and gave him infant Tylenol as soon as we got home and knock on wood, he's not had a fever and is sleeping soundly as well as eating normally.

On a happier note, we took him to visit with my client (the one who threw me a baby shower) and his Daddy's workplace as well and had lots of fun.


Loving on Aunt Lana.


More sugar for Aunt Vicki.


This is what he wore to church yesterday. I think his Daddy has hopes that he'll go to college and play ball for Bama :)


With Ms Brittany and Ms Peggy at the old country gas station where Daddy stops by for coffee every morning on his way to work. They've adopted Daddy and give him free coffee as their thank you for his service to the country. They even got Eli gifts for his baby shower... random acts of kindness truly amazes me. In any case, we stopped by today so they could meet Eli and of course that boy was loved on to bits.

Week 8 was lovely and I look forward to spending more time with the little one with Week 9.... D-Day (going back to work) is looming (July 13th) but I am just sticking to thinking happy thoughts for now!