Wednesday, December 7, 2011

12 weeks, 6 days

This second pregnancy is a lot scarier than the first (which was a breeze). At the get go, there was the issue of the huge fibroid, diabetes that never went away (gestational turned full blown) and today, I just found out that my kidneys are not functioning as normal. A 24-hour urine test brought a result of 9,606mg per 24 hours and the normal range is 300 mg or less. The maternal fetal medicine doctor wants me to see a kidney specialist so we'll see what is going on...

Seeing the little one over the ultrasound was reassuring, he/she was active and moving, the little heartbeat made me choke up... At that moment, all I truly want is for this child to develop normally and be born healthy, motherhood has been so rewarding but at the same time, it has been the most worrying journey to date, I worry when my child coughs or has a fever, I worry if I'm teaching him enough or if he is watching too much tv or eating the right foods.... Silly, I know but I can't help it!

So now this little one nestled in my belly, Mummy will worry until you are safe in my arms, I wish I can fast forward the time to June, that way, I'll know everything is alright but I know I have to try and enjoy the pregnancy and wait it's course.

Your big brother tells everyone that his brother and sister is in his Mummy's belly (no, don't worry, it's ONE baby!) and I know he can't wait to see you, he already sings you songs, read you stories, give you kisses and include you in his conversations (he likes going around the table and announcing the color of our eyes... Brown for mummy, blue for daddy, green for eli and he asks me what color are baby's eyes????? I tell him we have to wait and see and he'll say it's because baby is still growing right mummy????)

I don't have any wants for Christmas this year, all I ask is for a healthy baby and family... That in itself is the only thing that matters to me right now as I go from one stressful OB appointment to another.

Dear Lord, please watch over our little family and help us get through this pregnancy with ease and let June be a joyful time.... Hang in there little one, grow well, keep that fighting heart beating, as with your brother, we love you even before we can hold you in our arms.

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